Trolling For Tinfoil
Monday, April 25, 2005
 
Monday blues
It’s Monday.
Alllll damn day.

There’s an older gentleman who trudges out to the leper outpost called the “smoker’s area”- He’s one of those guys that constantly throws dry, inane little quips at you while he puffs on his cigarette, like- “Working hard, or hardly workin?” or “Are we having fun yet?” or my personal favorite- The 8:45 am “Is it time to go home yet?”

Some days, I like to throw a wrench in his gears- Like today. He threw his usual “Havin’ fun yet?” out there, probably expecting some trite response, to which I responded –
“Like a one-armed clusterf**k in a butt kicking contest..”
I got the same look your dog gives you when he farts.

Here at work, we’re not really a “Monday Crew”- It takes us a while to get moving, grudgingly coming to terms with the needs of those who require our services. There’s a good-natured mini-feud that has carried over from Friday, involving claims of latent homosexuality, with the participants employing the tools that any self-respecting geek would use.
Namely- Adobe Photoshop.

So far, images have been pasted into Sir Elton John’s wedding blurb from a copied CNN page, and the cover of a Richard Simmons workout video has been subtly massaged to appear as if one of our Techs has grown a thinning ‘fro and likes shorts that threaten to expose his junk if he were to move too quickly.
They are mostly in their mid- to late 20’s, an age where the claim of “Theatrical Proclivities” carries a mild stigma, as well as a humorous undertone. Mostly.

I guess you could get all PC about the implications that such an accusation carries, even if it is entirely in jest, but no one here seems to be all that sensitive-Particularly since no one here seems to exhibit any such inclinations.
However, if we were to hire such a person, I’m afraid all conversation would dry up altogether.. They would certainly accept him/her as they are, provided the person wasn’t blatantly looking for romance amongst his/her fellow employees, but their standard Frat-boy humor would have no outlet.
I guess Farts would become the new joke. God help us all.

Comments:
Well ... hmm, when they are genuine gay people around, they might not get offended at you straights exposing each others' 'gayness.' I mean, as long as you're not showing hate and fear of gays, and as long as it's not a put-down, then the gag is: "He's gay and hiding it!" The genuine gay person might actually think it's funny, and join in. Might. (!) It's a fine line and a delicate act, to be sure, which is why I wouldn't do it. But you never know how the fella will react. Everyone is different. Even gay people.
 
Cool picture. Any relation to Gollum?
 
Yes- He's the distant, overfed cousin.
 
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