Trolling For Tinfoil
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
 
Angst-y blogger post.

Pondering changes in my future in a personal sense.

Boobs and butts mentioned in previous posts notwithstanding, I am waxing stereotypically pensive at the moment.

I was wondering when I’d fall for the blogger standard of thinking out loud via the web.. Feh. Blogs are very therapeutic anyway, so why not take advantage of getting rid of some mental flotsam?

Personal relationships are tough, and I’m wondering why it is that I put myself through such drama, whereas other people who I perceive to be less emotionally mature are able to cut loose and move on with relative ease. (So much for perception, eh?)

This is not to say that I’m not at that point, but in the past it has taken a whole lot of denial to stay within the bounds of the relationship. I’m wondering if it’s time to pull the ripcord and bail before I subject myself to needless torture.

The fear of losing the relationship is less than the fear of more self-inflicted angst.

Communication is not that great, since I despise conflict- so does she. However, I am almost required to be as honest at all times as I can be, (taking my direction from friends of Bill W.) whereas she seems to see rationalization as her strongest suit. I know her pretty well, having been down this road too many times before. I sense a real speed bump in the road ahead, and I may well decide that I no longer want to travel that path, having had my fill of “bumps”.

With her, everything is emotional, and what you do is relative to how you feel at the time.

We’ll see.. I could be totally off base, too.. Believe it or not, I have considered that fact too.


Comments:
i think your writing is cool, im a little down just now but you made me laugh when describing your colleagues at work, dead funny, you reminded me of catcher in the rye - my own blog is pretty down and miserable just now but noone else gets to see it , its for me -robina
 
you need to stop worring about past relationships and deal with her as her not another person.
Yep you could be off base yet you are in that relationship. You are perseptive. Just tread lightly
 
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