Trolling For Tinfoil
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
 
If you love them, set them free..
Hey- I never claimed to be a saint..

A friend of mine promised to show up at a rather staid, conservative-esque gig and fling her bra at me. Needless to say, this would have caused a riot- and I would have been banished to the dog-house just for leering- but fortunately for all concerned, the proposed launching of the lingerie never came to be.

I was bummed- I was really looking forward to ogling, since things are starting to get warm and humid here on the east coast. It's the only thing I have left to look forward to..

I gave up drinking, since it controlled waaay too much of my time and money. I gave up womanizing for pretty much the same reasons, and you could safely say that I am an almost respectable citzen these days, no longer a full-time drunken-musician-slut. Having done just about everything one can do and live to tell about it, you should also keep in mind that for all my bluster, I an almost insanely anal about being in a monogamous, committed relationship.

No touch.

Ever.
Not for any reason, because there isn't one good enough for the damage it will cause. Got it?

This does not stop me from being a somewhat twisted individual, so the email conversation this morning went something like this:


Her:
Hey, I apologize for not being there Saturday. I didn't feel great, so I stayed home all day. I'm sorry I said I'd be there and I wasn't!
Me:
Yeah, yeah..
I was hoping to score a bra.
Her:
sorry! next time!
Me:
I'm miffed. You were supposed to jump up and down.
I was looking forward to that.
A lot.
Her:
Shut up, I actually feel bad!
Me:
I had it all envisioned in my mind..
In slo-mo even.
They were real.. And they were spectacular.
Moving, released from their constraints- so happy to be free, waving to me from behind a black silk blouse, living as breasts were meant to live- Unfettered and full of motion.. *Que theme music- Born Free* Booooorrnn Freeee...As freeeee as the wind bloooooows...
Alas.. It was not to be.
Her:
you just made me choke on my coffee...
Me:
Sorry..
Sort of.
Just remember.. You owe me happy, bouncing boobies.
Happy ones- Full of life, living in their natural environment. None of those sad, lifeless boobies peering dully out from behind a wall of fabric condemned to a life of being stared at by passersby wondering what they'd be like if they were allowed to roam free as nature intended.
A happy, free-range boobie zoo.
Her:
Whatever.
Pervert.

Ladies- If you love them and love America- Set them free...
Then you can.. Say- do jumping jacks and play on trampolines?

Comments:
It's about time I started stealing the phrases that I like in your writing and putting them in my blog.

I think I'll start with "drunken-musician-slut." Has a nice ring to it :-)
 
Yeah if we did that some of us would end up with black eyes.
;)
 
Mom.. We all have struggles in life, crosses to bear, weighty and full though as they may be- Just Bounce thru life with a jaunty step and a gleam in your eye with a straight spine. Walk tall, be proud. I will salute with a tear in my eye.

Sougata- You are welcome to the "drunken-musician-slut" with this caveat.. You must exhibit a penchant for self-absorbed, senseless destructive bahavior at least four times or more a week. Names must be forgotten, lies told, and tattoos of questionable origin acquired.

It doesn't pay very well, but the fringe benefits are incredible.
 
Here in my northern part of this fine land we live in I could get either one of them proposals (eeewwww) or arrested ( at this point arrested sounds better, that was for my Mom)...Trust me the gleam will never die
 
Well.. If you get arrested, you can count on me to march outside the jail w/ a sign that sais "Free the Boobies!!" Now!!"

"Heeeey, Hooo, bras have got to go.."

Sorry. Got carried away.
 
Shall you be naked outside that jail?
 
Not if it's cold...
 
Hah hah, you think like me!
 
60% normal..(hehe) what happened to ya?
 
Now, Rob, to be fair, I did not call you a pervert. In fact, I was the one who offered to be your groupie for the night and fling my bra at your head. Maybe I'm the one with perverse tendencies.

Typical male, though, turning a heart-felt apology into a joke for his buddies (or, in this case, his fellow bloggers). And to think, I was planning on going braless for you someday!!
 
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